beholdmyrobes:

beholdmyrobes:

hello world i’m willingly awake before noon and trying to adjust to this strange new lifestyle

i just fucking poured orange juice into my coffee

(via australiansanta)

guccier:

goals in life;

  1. have a friend who becomes rich and famous or
  2. be that friend

(via australiansanta)

becausewhynoteathumans:

im really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time

(via justsupergood)

readmore-worryless:

"Too many books?" I believe the phrase you’re looking for is "not enough bookshelves".

(via bringmebeartooth)

primalooze:

a piece of advice from somebody who’s been through this a few times already: if somebody gives you a bad vibe trust your gut

(via bringmebeartooth)

abbysapparel:

*looks at boys my age* wow way too young for me

(via australiansanta)

alexernst:

unwakeable:

that time in the night when you can’t stop yawning but can’t get to sleep either

i yawned after reading this

(via australiansanta)

wifipasswords:

posting a selfie like

image

(via australiansanta)

gotitforcheap:

My kink is having a good job and steady income. Also I want to put a booger in your pussy. 

(via tonyabbottofficial)

teamrocketing:

mom: so how do you know this person?

me: *struggles to come up with plausible fake story instead of saying “on the internet”*

(via relentless-muse)

girlsdoe:

If you touch my girl I will end you

(Source: boobslyn, via oilssandstuff)

onetownthatwontletyoudown:

sassyabrahamlincoln:

do you ever get your period and just think about your recent behavior like wow that explains a lot

yep.

yep.

yep.

(via oilssandstuff)

pyrrhic-victoria:

keep smiling by hkvam on Flickr.

as-seenon-tv:

I’ve never met Chris Pratt but I trust him

(via relentless-muse)

bagmilk:

mom can i borrow money to buy you a present

(Source: heteroh, via australiansanta)